1. Talk $$$$$: With the excitement of the engagement, the happy couple might not have thought much on what a reasonable budget would be. Not that you need to rain on their parade, but you do need to be clear about what how much you are able to contribute to their wedding budget.
2. Recognize Your Role: While you may have all kinds of wedding ideas, it is not safe to assume that you will be taking the reins on the whole planning process. Know what your daughter’s/son’s expectations are and let them know that you are there for them should they need your help. And if there’s something you would specifically like to contribute or be a part of, speak up when the time comes. Otherwise, avoid being a mom-zilla!
3. Dress Appropriately: The mother of the bride and the mother of the groom should get in touch with each other to coordinate. While you don’t need to match each other (or the bridesmaids) it’s a good idea to have somewhat similar styles. The only major no-no is any hue or shade of white- that’s for the bride only!
4. Pick Your Priorities: There are probably some things that you really want to see incorporated into the wedding. Like inviting your great aunt Nancy who the bride and groom have never met, or going ahead and ordering the kind of cake that you know they will love from your friend’s bakery without consulting them. If you make a big fuss out of every little detail the bride and groom are likely to shut you out of the planning process completely. A better plan might be to choose, say, three things that you would really, really want to be a part of the wedding and let the bride and groom know about them. This allows you to pick your battles wisely rather than fighting it out nonstop.
5. Back Them Up: Sometimes wedding guests can be a bit demanding. So do your best to help out the bride and groom by fielding issues that arise with the family and friends; whether that be wanting extra servings at the reception, more face time with the bride and groom. You need to help them by being their first line of defense, or if that fails, by being their backup.