Including your own (or your fiancé or both of yours) children in your wedding can be a lovely way to unit two families or reiterate the love you have for your child or children. If one of you already has children, you may decide that you want to include them in your wedding. Many couples include them in the ceremony itself, and some couples include them in the vows. Here are some ideas for including your children in your wedding. Remember these are simply ideas it is ultimately up to you, so make it special.
Hands Ceremony
Use a re-written version of the Hands Ceremony as one way to include our children. While the ceremony little resembled the initial Hands Ceremony, we did keep the line mentioning “whose hands will hold our future children” with a few revisions. We simply stated, “Whose hands hold our children” and listed their names. This is merely one example of how a common ceremony reading can be converted to include your children. Another way we included our children was to have them stand with the wedding party (it was a purposely timed to be a short ceremony for this exact reason).
Unity Candle
If they are older (pre-teen and above), a unity candle ceremony might be appropriate. Have the couple light one candle, and the child light the other candle. Once they are lit, both can light the middle candle together. The unity candle is a symbol of family unity and can be used in a variety of situations.
Family Medallion
Another solution is the “family medallion”. This is a necklace that has three intertwined circles on it. Each circle can represent a person (such as Bride, Groom and Child) or the circles can represent mixed families (the bride and her children, the groom and his children and adopted/step-children). Any combination of three will work with this type of unity device. The idea is that the family becomes united like the circles on the medallion.
The Kissing Ceremony
In the Kissing Ceremony, the groom and bride said traditional vows then they said vows to the child. Instead of a ring, they sealed the vows with a kiss. The vows were along the lines of “With this kiss, I swear to love you unconditionally, to do my best to raise you correctly and to take care of you in sickness and health”. It’s a very moving ceremony that imbues a lot of emotion into the event.
After Wedding Gifts
Other parents wait till after the wedding is over in order to express the solemnity of the joining of the families. The joining of families is often commemorated with a gift or a heart-felt discussion. If the child is very young, a heirloom gift may be purchased. Be sure to engrave the date, the name of the couple and the child’s (or children’s) name on the gift to symbolize the joining of the family rather than just the bride and groom.
Children’s Vows
Children’s vows usually take place toward the end of the wedding, after the ring exchange. They can be simple worded vows, spoken by the parents alone if the children are very young, or be participatory, involving everyone. They should include a promise to love, nurture and support them, and make them feel that they are an important part of the new family. Some couples like to give the kids gifts, like jewelry in the form of a family medallion, as a symbol of their new family bond.
Sand Ceremony
You can use different colors of sand for each individual (and even different vases if you wish) which are then poured into the one large container representative of your family.
_______________ and ______________, today you join your lives together. These bottles of sands of various colors symbolize your individual spirits of you and that of ____’s daughter_____. Each container is unique, representing who you are. As these containers of sand are poured into a third larger container, the different colors will join together to form something quite beautiful. You are joined together today, not only in marriage, but as family.
This is just an idea but you may personalize it however you like.